Letter from a Gay Christian

August 3, 2012

I am a Christian. I was raised in a Christian home, my father was a pastor. I was taught to love the Lord and to serve Him. This I have done all my life. My relationship with God has never been stronger and I am more thankful than ever for the redemption that I have through Jesus Christ and His work of redemption on my behalf on the cross. I know what repentance is and I know what forgiveness is.

I am also a homosexual. My journey has been difficult. I have tried time and time again to deny my own acceptance of my sexual orientation. Many nights have ended with tear-stained pillows as I have pleaded with God to release me from the pain I have experienced through this. God has remained faithful through all of it and continues to let me know each and every day how He loves me.

I also believe that it is God’s plan for all of us to know love and be loved. I know that this is His plan for me as well. To believe otherwise would be for me to understand that God is vengeful and has played a very cruel trick on me.

Homosexuality is not a choice. It is an orientation. It is no different than eye-color, or being right-handed or left-handed. My sexuality is a gift from God and I believe that he intends for me to rejoice in that by knowing the love of another in a life-time, monogamous relationship.

There are some dangers in referring to your view of marriage as being the “Biblical” view.

According to the Bible, marriage can only exist between people of the same faith. I am sure that you would agree that no one makes an issue of this anymore, as many interfaith marriages exist, perhaps even some in your own company or family.
According to the Bible a wife must not only be subordinate (Ephesians 5:22) but when she and her husband are married, she must prove her virginity or be taken out and stoned (Deuteronomy 22:20-21).
According to the Bible, if a woman’s husband dies without having a son, she must marry her husband’s brother and have intercourse with him until she bears a son (Mark 12: 18-27).
Many men of the Bible, including Jacob, Esau, Gideon, David and Solomon were polygamists.
Others such as Abraham, Caleb and Solomon had concubines as well as wives.

So, it is clear that marriage has evolved from Genesis to Revelation. In the last century, individuals used the Bible to try to prevent inter-racial marriage, and I am sorry that some still try to do that today.

The Bible needs to be read in the context in which it was written. For us to read it literally makes a mockery of Christianity, as the Bible certainly says things that modern day Christians no longer adhere to. For instance, we cannot accept much of what is instructed in the Levitical Code of the Old Testament.

Biblical scholars have determined that St. Paul’s references to homosexuality have to do with the sale of young men for the purposes of prostitution in the temple, and have nothing to do with same sex relationships as we know them today.

We cannot use the Bible as a weapon to propagate our own political or social views.

And while we accept the Bible as God’s written word for us, we also accept Jesus as God’s incarnate Word for us. Jesus never said anything about homosexuality. He did however admonish us to love one another. Adherence to that admonition is absent in your attitude towards the LGBT community.

Also, in the year 2012, we have to be listening for yet another word from God being spoken to us from the Holy Spirit, God’s latest gift to us. The Holy Spirit may be telling us something new in this. God is still speaking.

I would like to suggest that you lay off discussing something that you know nothing about. You are neither a theologian, nor someone who knows what it is like to be homosexual. You have no idea of the loneliness that I experience. You have no concept of the pain I have endured and marginalization I continue to face.

Your comments do more harm than good to the Christian church. The world hears your message of marginalization and the church and Christians are seen as being judgmental and intolerant of others. This is not the message Jesus came to bring. His message of love, forgiveness, acceptance and grace is what we should be demonstrating to the world.

As I stated earlier, my journey has been difficult. I am just trying to do my best with the gifts God has given me. I don’t need my fellow-Christians tripping me up by condemning me and marginalizing me for something that is natural – for me.

Your Brother in Christ

RfA doesn’t usually comment on LGBT-related reports in the national news media, and the current controversy over the public anti-gay marriage statement by the CEO of the Chick-fil-A restaurant chain is no exception. However, when one of our supporters shared the recent letter that he sent to the chain’s CEO, we asked permission to post it here because we believe it speaks to us in the Reformed Church in America, as well.